I'm a published wedding and portrait photographer located in a small town outside of Charlottesville. In addition to capturing beautiful images, I love spending time with my family, am freakishly good at word games (Hey Wheelmobile!), love an ice cold can of Coke or Dr. Pepper, know every line to Hocus Pocus and can never pass up a Chick-fil-A waffle fry or a trip to HomeGoods.
Has anyone else noticed that people look at married, childless women a little weird on Mother’s Day? Like maybe there’s something wrong with them because they don’t have children? While yes, I am 30 and married, I don’t currently have children and I don’t currently wish I had children at this exact time. While I may opt to do that in the future, just because I don’t choose to do it now doesn’t mean I’m weird. Maybe I enjoy my job and am not in a position to take off for a month and a half right now. Maybe I enjoy a good wine tasting every now and then (ahem bottle) or have a fresh fish obsession that can’t currently be tamed. Maybe I like to rearrange my heavy furniture and drink tons of caffeine between handfuls of unwashed vegetables and un-fermented cheese. (I really hope some of these “pregnancy don’ts” are just wives tales or I may never choose to have children and don’t even get me started on those birth story documentaries. Nope!) Or maybe I’m just not quite there yet.
And while I’m not there yet, I’m sure there are many of us non-mothers who wish with all their might that they were mothers, especially today. So maybe before you look at us like we’re failing our gender, remember that while yes, some of us are perfectly happy in our non-mother status, some of us aren’t and asking about it or giving an extra stare may just make that wound sting a little more. You never know what someone else is struggling with and while “when are you going to have children” is an annoying question to some, it may be painful to others.
So happy Mother’s Day to all of the amazing, wonderful mothers who have decided to take that step including my own whom I love and adore. Happy Mother’s Day also to all of the future mothers out there. I salute you, but I’m not joining you yet.